KVKL 2011 – Week 7 Preview

Hey Kickballers,

It’s Week 7, and the end of divisional play! YAY!  This week is packed with competitive games.  I counted ten that I am particularly excited for.  Below you’ll find my top six noteworthy Sunday games, a paragraph of bullshit for each match-up, and a laughable prediction—in that order.   It should be in the upper 90s by 5:30, with a heat index in the triple digits.  My thoughts and prayers are with those who play the 5:30 games. Remember to have a sip of water for every PBR you shotgun. Chug. Sip. Chug.  The Chalmersiz’s captain had very eloquent post about the current heat wave on his Facebook page, “Breaking News: excessive heat warning issued from Friday afternoon until sometime in late August when Mother Nay Nay decides to stop being effin Cray Cray…#toohottocandle.” Well said, Candlepants.



Grand Slam

Pita Pit (6-0) vs. Das Boot (6-0) – Broken Arrow Park at 7pm

The two powerhouses in the William S. Burroughs pool finally meet.  Both with perfect records, both relatively unchallenged this season, both with plans to win it all. I’ve played these two teams and they are without a doubt top fivers.  I imagine most people will pick the winningest team in the league to clinch the top spot in the Burroughs pool, but I’m calling the upset.  The Pit are great, but as long as Das Boot picks their pitches, I don’t see Pita’s defense being strong enough to stop The Boats spectacular offense.  Prediction: DAS BOOT > PITA PIT



Home Run

Chalmersiz (6-0) vs. Slowride (5-1) – Water Tower Park at 5:30pm

Another fight for a top spot in a division!  The John Brown division, as a whole, is arguably the weakest group in the league.  Slowride is talented, confident, and athletic, but I don’t see them hanging with the ones—they’re a competitive two, maybe.  Though, The Chalmersiz haven’t really proven much this year, except that they haven’t gotten worse, but that should be enough to walk away with a win this Sunday. CHALMERSIZ > SLOWRIDE (Curtis is too hottt for Erbear to candle!)




Los Luchadores (4-2) vs. Red Lyon (4-2) – South Park at 5:30pm

Don’t let these team’s mid-season slumps fool you, they are two fantastic groups of kickball players.  Red Lyon has been struggling—barely escaping The Blue Collar Rockets, and falling by one point to The Slowride Fasthumpers.  Los Luchadores is on a two game slide, and heading into week three needing a win to maintain any clout from winning the 2010 Championship.  I honestly believe the field might actually play a huge part in the game, and tip the advantage to Red Lyon, a team filled with grass lovers (Both kinds! Ha-woo! See what I did there?).  Prediction: Red Lyon > Los Luchadores




Liberty Hall Late Fees (2-3) vs. The Eldridge Ghosts (4-2) – Lyons West at 7pm

The 7th and Mass showdown! Sure, Quantril burnt their building down once, but we burnt ourselves down twice! FEES!!! One of the best games I can recall during my time in the KVKL was when we played The Eldridge during Week 7 in 2008. The Ghosts were one of three undefeated teams in the league (6-0) and they were playing one of the worst ranked teams in the league, a young and very attractive Late Fees team (0-6).  In triple digit temperatures, at the shade-less Broken Arrow field, with our line-up scribbled on the back of a PBR case, we beat them 21-12.  It was pretty great for us.  Anyways, they’re a good team, this will be a great game, and if The Eldridge loses they have to turn that ugly-ass parking lot next to their building back into a cute little park. Prediction: MOST FUN WINS!!!!!




Balls Deep (2-4) vs. Wildman (3-3) – South Park at 7pm

Balls Deep and Wildman are two equally awesome teams that know how to be competitive and have fun. Should be pretty kick ass, especially with all that shade at South Park once the sun starts to go down. Prediction Wildman > Balls Deep



Peanuts and Crackerjacks

Tellers (1-6) vs. Channel 6 (2-4) – Hobbs Park at 9pm – Game of the Week

I haven’t watched Channel 6 this year, but I have watched Tellers and they seem to have a lot of fun.  Will Channel 6 be recording this game? They never showed the footage from when we beat them during the Game of the Week last year!  Tellers > Channel 6 (The Weatherman loses every week, until the daily highs drop below 95)



Coach Billy Gay Cyrus’ Official KVKL Top 5:

1. Love Garden Squids – They’ve been playing great kickball, and are being pretty ruthless about it.

2. Chalmersiz – Kicking ass and having fun doing it.

3. Das Boot – They will impress this week.

4. Pita Pit – Nearly perfect kickball players, but beatable.

5. Sacred Sword – Tough dudes. Probably the only team that will be able to say they beat Star Bar this year.


It’s all down hill from here. Three more regular season games, two to three weeks of tournament action, and then we have to hang up our cleats and watch The Chiefs suck it up.


Hugs and kicks,

Coach Billy Gay Cyrus


18 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by johnny doe on July 17, 2011 at 12:28 am

    Random predictions:

    Los Luchadores vs. Red Lyon (too close to call)
    Balls Deep > Wildman (If Balls Deep shows up they’ve got this one)
    Chalmersiz > Slowride (Chalmz demonstrates they’re champ contenders here)
    Screamers > Replay (Screamers win big)
    Asteroid Head > Harper Valley PTA
    The Swarm > Weavers (Swarm wins big)
    Lawrence Gang Green > Cork and Barrell (really anyone’s game here, going with the vets here)
    Ghosts > Liberty Hall (haven’t seen enough of either team to make assumption)
    Brew Ballers > Ms. Fortunes
    West Coast > Free State (west coast doesn’t show up then free state is taking this)
    Dirty Mike > Blue Collar (another close one, this one goes to whoever shows up to win)
    Love Garden > Astro Kitty (LG owns it, but just wait until they are introduced to the rest of the league, that’ll be the true test)
    Sacred Sword > Goats (close game)
    Pita Pit > Das Boot (Pita Pit shuts down the Boot)
    Star Bar > Wilt Chamberlin (Star Bar but WC is still looks bad ass)
    Channel 6 > Tellers (C6 is gonna tear it up in pool play)


  2. Posted by AdamP aka Wild Bill Kickcock on July 17, 2011 at 1:35 am

    Its nice to see the division races that are coming down to the last week. I’m looking forward to playing the team with my favorite (unofficial) name, Nickelback the Team, and my good buddy Thomas J. I was looking at the Carrie A. Nation division, and here’s what I see as the possible scenarios for tomorrow. Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong.
    Love Garden and Astrokittys’ positions will not change regardless of what happens.
    If Replay beats the Screamers they will move up into the 2nd slot, Screamers into the 3rd.
    If Wildman beats Balls Deep, and Replay loses, Wildman will take the 3rd and Replay will move to 4th. If Replay wins they get 2nd and Wildman gets 4th. The winner of Free State/West Coast decides the rest of the order.
    If Balls Deep beats Wildman, and West Coast beats Free St, BD takes 4th, West Coast takes 5th, Wildman ends up at 6th.
    If Balls Deep beats Wildman, and Free State wins, we will have a three way tie to settle slots 4-6. (BD>Wild, Wild>Fr St, Fr St>BD)

    Its gonna be a wild race to the finish!


  3. Posted by Eribear on July 17, 2011 at 1:56 am


    “CHALMERSIZ > SLOWRIDE (Curtis is too hottt for Erbear to candle!)” (You lose if you can’t spell my name right. Its posted everywhere!) I do like Slowride Fasthumpers. No idea why I like it.

    No actual prediction for fees v ghosts? Really? Come on….own it!

    No mention of Replay v. Screamers? I have no idea how it will end, but I predict an amazing game!

    Also… Pit >Boot


  4. Posted by MikeyP on July 17, 2011 at 4:21 am

    #1) We fo sho remember you guys being the “and one” to our sophomore 9-1 regular season. (But damn, you all were attractive).

    #2) In addition to Quantrill we were also burnt down by Sheriff Sam Jones in 1856.

    #3) Coach Billy Gay always predicts his own games as “most fun wins”.


  5. Posted by Soobs on July 17, 2011 at 7:01 am

    From across the pond the only predic that will ever matter:
    Chalmersiz > *insert team here* (Can you tell that I’m the cocky one on the team?)

    And a brief history lesson: The phrase, “Most fun wins” was coined by the inventor of disc golf (as an organize sport) “Steady” Ed Headrick–who some of you may have seen on Ripley’s Believe it or Not some years ago as the guy who had his ashes molded into a Limited Edition line of Frisbees.


  6. Posted by troy on July 17, 2011 at 10:59 am

    great looking week, good luck to all
    red lyon and los luchadores=beer and bbq (sorry league, got a lot of pulled pork being smoked for this one)
    balls deep and wild man slow ride (i want a bee from soobs that is made from kickballs)
    cork & barrel in a draw with gang green (summer time nothing better than some beer mixing with some green)
    ghost>liberty hall
    brew ballers>ms. fortune’s
    west coast saloon>free state (not enough lagers to win)
    gwlse>blue collar unless, blue collar>dirty mike
    love garden>atrokitty
    sacred sword>goats (insert bunt joke here…though, put me down for mike having the longest kick)
    das boot>pita pit though, another unless, pita pit>das bunt (the pit will shut down small ball, good kicking throughout the game will break down the pit)
    star bar>wilt (sorry former team)
    tellers>6 (hey 6, i was just wondering, who was responsoble for putting the drive on t.v. and are they still employed?)


    • Posted by troy on July 17, 2011 at 11:17 am

      i can’t type, write or read very well
      supposed to be bd and wild man slowride…then my request for soobs
      sorry for my lack of computer skills, already started the mix
      also this gives me time to address something (since i’m the only non-facebook person in the league) i’ve heard that there is another debate/bringing up splitting the league discussion on facebook….simple…you don’t like the way the league is, goodbye, have fun in the city league. there are teams waiting to play in this league and if your not enjoying the league, i feel sorry for you


      • Posted by AdamP aka Wild Bill Kickcock on July 17, 2011 at 12:35 pm

        Agreed 100%, but what’s soobs?

      • Posted by Soobs on July 17, 2011 at 1:14 pm

        Soobs is he who make hast for base… And chains. Consider the league lucky I’m rocking out with my kickcocking out for 2 Sunz in the land of the forever sun. Smooches. 😀

      • Posted by Soobs on July 17, 2011 at 8:31 pm

        *Haste* Goddamnit. What an idiot. Who invited this asshole?

  7. Posted by troy on July 17, 2011 at 11:20 am

    chalmeriz>slow ride
    troy=needs to go back to school


  8. Slight correction: Wildman is 3-3, not 2-4.


  9. Posted by Sacred Sword from the clan McKeever on July 17, 2011 at 12:48 pm

    Pita Pit v Das Boot is at broken Arrow at 7pm, no?


  10. Posted by LMGP on July 17, 2011 at 2:07 pm

    Pita Pit v. Das Boot is at Arrow. Arrow is gonna be the field to watch; don’t know why Sword v. Goats wasn’t mentioned, but there’s gonna be some awesome kickballing going on at Broken Arrow today.


  11. Forgot to mention that tonight will be Cougar’s first ever appearance in the KVKL Game of the Week!


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