KVKL 2011 – WEEK 2 PREVIEW

Kaw Valley Kickballers,

Before reading this post, let’s all take a moment to remember that I know nothing about sports. Don’t forget to leave your own much more insightful predictions, or corrections in the comments section.  Have fun this weekend, I’ll see you on Monday morning for a recap.

HOME RUN

Sacred Sword (1-0) vs. Star Bar Barracudas (1-0)

Two teams coming off of impressive first week wins, Sacred Sword dominating the once powerful Wilt Chamberlains (aka Jazzhaus), and Star Bar playing an impressive game against the extremely talented Goats.  This game will expose Sacred Sword as either a top-five team, or just one of the best mid-level teams.  It’s too early in the season to be positive, but I imagine Sacred Sword will impress.  Star Bar has a hell of a challenge on Sunday, but if their defense is just as solid as last week, they could easily walk off with a win.  Prediction: Sacred Sword 12; Star Bar 5.

TRIPLE

Slowride (1-0) vs. Los Luchadores (0-0)

Slowride was one of the best mid-level teams last year, and they’re looking just as strong this year.  Los Luchadores 2.0 is still the biggest mystery of the 2011 season—forced to rescheduled their first game until later in the season, we still haven’t seen these guys in action.  Slowride will be a great test to see if LL 2.0 has their shit together.  If the Slowriders can come out strong and fast hump some major points onto the scoreboard in the first few innings, I imagine Los Luchadores will start the season off with their second ever loss. But… prediction: Slowride 8; Los Luchadores 11

DOUBLE – Game of the Week

The Swarm (0-1) vs. Liberty Hall (1-0)

The Swarm had one of the most competitive first games we saw last week, with just a three-point loss to The Ghosts—a team that is very familiar with the KVKL top ten.  These guys will be ready for the Late Fees, and eager to get their first win of the season in front of a roaring Hobbs crowd.  The Late Fees are a large team, with every player returning from the 2010 season and adding a few more on top of that.  The Fees know the rules, have a number of big boots, and are heavy drinkers, the three most important elements in successful kickballing. The best part of this match-up is that these two teams know how to have fun while kicking balls, should make for a great game under the lights.  Prediction: Most fun wins.

SINGLE

Asteroid Head (1-0) vs. Wilt Chamberlain (0-1)

Asteroid Head made everybody rethink their preseason judgments by walking away with a win over Tellers.  The Wilt Chamberlains probably made a few people rethink their preseason judgments by walking away with a loss to Sacred Sword (just a few people).  Is Asteroid Head a team to be feared? Are the Wilt Chamberlains just adjusting to losing 50% of their 2010 team? Perhaps the only thing that can save Wilt Chamberlain from this Texas sized Asteroid Head is the world’s best deep core drilling team, sent to nuke Jason Barr from the inside! One thing is very certain: Captain Thrasher of the Asteroid Head Art Club’s team has the most intimidating name I’ve ever heard.  Prediction: Asteroid Head 5; Wilt Chamberlain 11; Jason Barr -5

Peanuts and Crackerjacks

Ms. Fortune’s (0-1) vs. Chalmersiz (1-0)

The Chalmersiz’ Captain is very confident, so confident that he claims he will kick his first ever left footed home run against the Satanists From Outer Space.  These are two of the most fun teams in the KVKL, wish I could be there.

Also, rain or shine, The Three Amigos (members of Sacred Sword and Space Pussy) will be DJ-ing after the Game of the Week this sunday at the Replay.

See you at Hobbs,

Coach Billy Gay Cyrus

Pooh Bear says, “Don’t forget to hydrate, stretch, and drink.”

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8 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Boobs on June 11, 2011 at 12:45 am

    Nice piece Mick! Most intimidating kickball moniker I’ve ever heard: Murder Death from the Swarm!

    Reply

  2. Posted by Tofu Scramble on June 11, 2011 at 7:39 am

    Nice job, Mick. In addition to GOTW (I think the Swarm are going to have a nice bounce back from a disappointing 2010 season), I hope to catch the Star Bar v. Sacred Sword game Sunday. I don’t think a loss will say much about either team except that they’ll finish second in their pool. I think Star Bar has been vastly underrated so far this season, and I would rank both teams among the top 4 in the league. Pool of death for sure.

    Reply

  3. Shouldn’t the Chalmersiz captain kick his first ever RIGHT-FOOTED home run before attempting his first ever left-footed home run? He gets slower every season(game), so this should be the last season he is even be allowed to play!!! This isn’t(is) smack talk, I’m honestly worried about his physical health. Inverted penis starts to become a serious hindrance after age 30.

    Reply

  4. Posted by sacred_bunt on June 12, 2011 at 9:23 am

    Well, its another sunday spent in my Naval station dorm room instead of on a lawrence kansas kickball field, so I thought I would make some (almost) completely uninformed predictions for this weeks games. I’m basing these (completely unbiased*) predictions on past seasons since I only know what I read on here and what my fellow Sacred Swords tell me.
    *picks are completely biased.

    Pita Pit 112; L.G.G. 0: Nearly unbeatable multiple champs versus quitters = ugly.
    Harper Valley PTA 5; Tellers 4: Tellers lost to Asteroid Head, so therefore new team wins.
    Das Boot 17; Cork and Barrel 2: Double Das Boots score if they embrace “das bunt” moniker.
    Channel Six 2; Goats 15: This score just seems like what would have happened any other season.

    Space Pussies 29; Screamers 2: SEE! Your pal, and super hero Space Pussy enter the dreaded Bizaaroooo dimension! FEEL!! The sweet kiss of victory…etc…

    Red Lyon vs GWLSE: I can’t pick this one because I have family involved and I don’t know if Jared and/or Nic Danger are playing. If my brother and his friends are back from playing with the hippies at Bonaroo this one is closer than most will think.

    Love Garden 17; Free State 2: My second favorite team vs. my second least favorite team. Squids stomp.
    Slowride 8; Los Luch 1: Watch the Yankees’ fall from grace.
    Weavers 5; Ghosts 12: zzzzzzzzzzzz
    Sacred Sword 15; Star Bar Barracudas 3: The best team ever vs. Kris Marshall’s new desciples…don’t kick it to Kris!!
    Pirate Satanists or whatever 1; Chalmersz 20: this would be worse except the Chalmersz are too nice to run up the score.
    Asteroid Head 3; Wilt the stilt 23: Reality comes crashing in like a large rock from space hitting you in the head.
    Wildman 7; Rowdies 10; Old Overholt 72: Both teams get wasted and start exchanging clothes.
    Brew Ballers 15; Blue Collar Press 6: The commish’s team plays with heart, but it usually isn’t enough…
    West Coast 8; Balls Deep 15: From what I’ve heard, the mad greeks are playing to rule the “mid tier” teams and get taken seriously. Can they kill Tu Pac?
    The Swarm 14; Late Fees 10: Dan wins!

    Have fun out there for me folks!

    Reply

  5. Alright Adam….plz go back 2 jerking off your bunk mate in whatever submarine you’re posted on. NEXT… Watch out bitches Asteroid Head is killin it this year! Suck it!

    Reply

    • Posted by sacred_bunt on June 12, 2011 at 8:40 pm

      whoa, I didn’t know it was possible to offend the “heckling champ of the league” so easily…I hope y’all prove me wrong Barrbie!

      Reply

  6. Posted by Santos on June 12, 2011 at 5:05 pm

    Got it in under the wire

    PP>LGG
    Tellers>Harper
    Das Boot> Cork
    Goats> Channel 6
    Screamers>Space Pussy
    Red Lyon> GWLSE
    Love Garden> Free State
    Ghosts> Weavers
    THE SS> The SBB
    Chalmies> Satan
    Los Luch> Slowride
    Wilt> Asteriod
    Wildman> Replay
    Brewballers> Blue Col
    Balls Deep> WCS
    Sawrm> Liberty

    Reply

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